...because we really love your moms!

NAME: Becky McJohnson
AGE: 32
WEIGHT: 209
HEIGHT: 5' 6"
NUMBER OF KIDS: Two
REASON FOR NOMINATION: Gives immaculate head frequently
FAVORITE QUOTE: "Are you my baby's father?"
FREQUENT HANGOUTS: Dairy Queen, Welfare Office
ACHIEVEMENTS: Once blew entire police force in Loraine, NM
FUTURE GOALS: "I think I'd like to maybe see what my feet look like."
OVERALL SEXINESS RATING:

NAME: Janet Schrudleman
AGE: 39
WEIGHT: 195
HEIGHT: 5' 3"
NUMBER OF KIDS: One w/ One In The Oven
REASON FOR NOMINATION: Takes it anally and enjoys it
FAVORITE QUOTE: "Go slower so you don't tear me this time. "
FREQUENT HANGOUTS: Corner of 5th & Main, Truckstops
ACHIEVEMENTS: Took 3 men in the ass at once
FUTURE GOALS: "I want people to pay me more then $2.25/hr."
OVERALL SEXINESS RATING:

NAME: Loretta Jung
AGE: 31
WEIGHT: 205
HEIGHT: 5' 8 "
NUMBER OF KIDS: One
REASON FOR NOMINATION: Marathon hump machine
FAVORITE QUOTE: "Let me suck you, fuck you and make you some dinner. "
FREQUENT HANGOUTS: Goat Ranch Records, Wal*Mart
ACHIEVEMENTS: Starred in many amateur pornos (unknowingly)
FUTURE GOALS: "I'd like to meet the right man to start a real family with."
OVERALL SEXINESS RATING:

NAME: The Anderson Twins
AGES: 79 and 54
WEIGHT: 341 (combined)
HEIGHT: 5' 3" and 5' 7"
NUMBER OF KIDS: 36 (including grandchildren)
REASON FOR NOMINATION: Gangbang Champions - '93, '96, '01, '02, '04
FAVORITE QUOTE: "We love the penis. Here's $5 for your birthday."
FREQUENT HANGOUTS: Old Country Buffet, Church, Quilting Bees, Bingo
ACHIEVEMENTS: Sucked a combined total of 1,651,229 dicks (and counting)
FUTURE GOALS: "We would like to excel in the art of DVDA."
OVERALL SEXINESS RATING:

NAME: Gertrude Wangschwallower ~aka~ Flirty Gerty
AGE: 48
WEIGHT: 196
HEIGHT: 5' 5"
NUMBER OF KIDS: 4
REASON FOR NOMINATION: Nice rack, menopausal
FAVORITE QUOTE: "I wish you'd just come over and drop it all in me!"
FREQUENT HANGOUTS: The grocery store, Applebee's
ACHIEVEMENTS: Took 13 dicks orally (simultaneously)
FUTURE GOALS: "I'd like to start a Your Mother's Lovers fan club."
OVERALL SEXINESS RATING:

NAME: The DePhole Sisters
AGES: 31 and 28
WEIGHT: 207 (combined)
HEIGHT: 5' 6 " and 5' 4"
NUMBER OF KIDS: 3
REASON FOR NOMINATION: Bar Sluts of the Year 2006
FAVORITE QUOTE: "Got any alcohol at your house?"
FREQUENT HANGOUTS: Bars, Clubs, Sporting Events, Concerts, etc.
ACHIEVEMENTS: Appeared in three Girls Gone Wild videos
FUTURE GOALS: "We, um, like, wanna have some more meaningless sex!"
OVERALL SEXINESS RATING:

NAME: Tina McDougal
AGE: 22
WEIGHT: 347
HEIGHT: 5' 4"
NUMBER OF KIDS: 2
REASON FOR NOMINATION: Ass pro, hot ripple effect, buttered teeth
FAVORITE QUOTE: "Where's the food at?"
FREQUENT HANGOUTS: Anywhere food can be found
ACHIEVEMENTS: Was asked to leave freeway due to weight restrictions
FUTURE GOALS: "Damn I wanna eat something!"
OVERALL SEXINESS RATING:

NAME: Millie Lewis ~aka~ FireSnatch
AGE: 20
WEIGHT: 221
HEIGHT: 5' 2 "
NUMBER OF KIDS: 1
REASON FOR NOMINATION: Lives in trailer, likes to be peed on
FAVORITE QUOTE: "My life is so over!"
FREQUENT HANGOUTS: Goodwill, flea markets, convenience stores
ACHIEVEMENTS: 'Fooled around with' farm animals 'once or twice'
FUTURE GOALS: "I wanna have more kids! Or at least try over and over!"
OVERALL SEXINESS RATING:

NAME: Juanita Lopez-Diego-Sanchez-Domingas-Ortiz Smith
AGE: 43
WEIGHT: 173
HEIGHT: 5' 6"
NUMBER OF KIDS: 8
REASON FOR NOMINATION: Recently promoted to 'Head Sperm Dumpster'
FAVORITE QUOTE: "If life was a pool, mine would be filled with sperm!"
FREQUENT HANGOUTS: The gym, golf courses, bridge clubs
ACHIEVEMENTS: Once had sex with midget while completely underwater
FUTURE GOALS: "I would like to travel around the world someday."
OVERALL SEXINESS RATING:

Your moms love our balls. Just ask your dad.

-Your Mother's Lovers